I don't know what the fuck this is. My wife nominated me. http://bloggerschoiceawards.com/blogs/show/172440?load=comments&page=1
And that would've been nice, and I wouldn't have cared, except when I went to the site and I saw I had one fucking vote. From my wife. I get several hundred hits on this thing every day. We're closing in on 50K, and I'm hoping to have a chance at 100K for the year. How do I have only one vote? OK. I know it's a pain in the ass, that you have to create an account, give them an e-mail, pick a username and password, verify the info via a link and all that. But think of all the joy I've brought you. You know how long it takes to write these goddamn posts? Well, not that long, actually. But it also doesn't take that long to create an account. My ego can't take not getting a shit-ton of votes. I don't know what the hell this award entails, or if it'll do me any good (doubt it), but I'd like to find out. So please take the four minutes to vote for me. Because I am hollow, empty shell of a man, and if I win this pointless, anonymous award, it will fill me with purpose. For about seven minutes (which is still 7 more than I have now).
And if y'all wouldn't mind doing some pimping on my behalf, Facebook, Twitter, et al, I'd sure appreciate it.
Next up, and why this post is probably going to be a little on the short side, the Wandering Jews are playing tonight at the
You can get tickets here: http://tinyurl.com/3wy83h7
. We have a new wrinkle in our lineup, with Lliam Hart replacing Peter Ffrench on drums (and, no, the double consonants are not a typo), but the rest remains the same, with Big Tom on bass, Raviv (who is allowed to tell Jewish jokes, we've been informed) on guitar, and Jarret "Secret Weapon" Cooper on keys and singing the pretty parts. We'll be playing all of our latest EP, Down on the Farm
(available for preview here: http://www.joeclifford.com/music/wandering_jews.html
), as well as unveiling some new tracks, which will be on our as-yet-untitled follow-up (I'm leaning toward Up on the Hill. Y'know, 'cause of parallelism) come spring. After not having written shit for years, I've been writing new songs (and the world waits with bated breath...). I think it's the best stuff I've written. But who knows? I once wrote a song called "Monkeys in My Pajamas." (Sometimes I really miss Chris Judd.)
(Have no idea what this cartoon is about, but Chris Judd was the name of my first songwriting partner/bandmate in CT, who got so fat he very well may've popped. So it's kind of funny. In a sad, life-is-pain kinda way.) Plus, we're doing an old Creeping Charlies-era tune, "Pretty Girls Make Graves (UK)" about this five-year-old sociopath trying to light concrete on fire (and can this be far behind?
It's OK. I can make that joke. I'm a Christian), and covering Mission of Burma's "That's When I Reach for My Revolver." All in all, it should be a rockin' good time.
So if you're in the Bay Area, you should stop on in, have a drink with the band, maybe get to poke Big Tom with a stick, because who knows how much longer I'll be able to do this shit. I got home from band practice last night, and could barely walk. Fucking hip. That's the beauty of a degenerative condition. It's as good as it's gonna get right now.
Now just because I fucking hate jazz.
And in other Joe-related news, I've got a bunch of stuff coming out this month at Shotgun Honey
) and Thrillers, Killers 'n' Chillers
), and a couple upstarts, The Sim Review
) and The Railroad Poetry Project
). And we have an outside chance to milk a little nepotism at one of those fancy print journals (with what just might be the best short story I've ever
I hope you'll check these stories out (don't worry, I'll plaster the fuck out of my various social media outlets), because those stories (and...poetry) is why I write this blog in the first place. Well that and the undying love and accolades. And reconnecting with old friends from Berlin. And the undying love and accolades. And to improve my craft and... OK. It's pretty much just the undying love and accolades.
Labels: Red Devil, Shotgun HoneyBlogger Choice Awards, the Wandering Jews, writing