Weekend Disappointment Pt. I: Pacquiao / Mosley
Ordering a pay per view boxing match these days is a lot like eating at Denny's. You swear never again after swallowing that garbage the last time, the bad taste it left in your mouth. But there you find yourself, tempted by the bright lights and hungry for some action, and so you give in. And you never walk out feeling satisfied.
Against my better judgment, I ordered the Pacquiao vs. Mosley bout this past Saturday. The last pay per view I ordered was a Mayweather fight (I don't even remember which one; they all suck). After 12 rounds of nothing doing, I swore never again. The above analogy comparing boxing to Denny's isn't that for off base, except that Moons over My Hammy doesn't cost me fucking $54.99. In each case you have a baseline you'd think would prohibit resounding failure. I mean, how much can you fuck up eggs and toast, and how can two professional fighters beating the shit out of each other come up so continually short?
If you read about Saturday's fight, you'll encounter a bevy of boxing cliches, because mostly that is what boxing writing is. Stuff like "heart of a champion" and "putting on a clinic" and "a puncher's chance," because even writing about the damn sport has grown tired. I'll try to do better.
Mosley is too fucking old to be fighting a guy like Pacquiao, and he had no chance. I knew it. You knew it. Even yellow dog knew it. But he was the best option at this point, because "Sugar" Shane used to be good, and Floyd Mayweather is a pussy.
That's what this fight was really about: what it wasn't. It wasn't Pacquiao versus Mayweather, because Floyd Mayweather is a chickenshit pussy who refuses to fight Pacquiao. And forget all that PED shit. Mayweather's latest ruse is he wants $100 million. Which is just another way of saying, "I ain't stepping in the ring against Manny P." And can you blame him?
Even though the fight itself sucked balls, it'd be hard to fault Pacquiao. He's ferocious and fucking fast. Mosley actually looked decent in the first two rounds. Until he was knocked down in the 3rd and realized he couldn't win. At that point, he's just trying not to embarrass himself and survive. So he ran. And I was out $54.99.
I won't say never again. Because one day, I'll be hungry and nothing else will be open, and so much time will have passed that I'll take a chance Denny's doesn't suck as much as I remember. And my hunger for the sport I love will be so gnawing that I'll take a flyer on a fight out of sheer wishful thinking. And no doubt in both cases, I'll be disappointed, once again.