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Ranking the Kids Shows: The Rest

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Sunday, February 13, 2011

Ranking the Kids Shows: The Rest

Monkey See

On the surface, this seems harmless enough. A cartoon monkey leads a group a kids through a mindless series of imitative exercises set to infectious music. But teaching children to blindly follow instructions is probably the last thing we should be doing. If there is one problem with this fucking world it's that there is a little too much "monkey see, monkey do" going on.

2 out of 10 stars

Driver Dan

Driver Dan is about a lion who drives a train. A lot of these shows are about trains and I don't know why. I also don't know why a lion would make a good train conductor.

1 out of 10 stars

Little Einsteins

Another show that on the surface looks OK: four kids (properly diversified representing the various ethnicities, genders, and near-sighted) ride through time using the power of classical music to fix problems. What's next? A cartoon about kids with grammar superpowers? Who even listens to classical music anymore? People claim to "like" classical music but they only "like" saying they like classical music. That shit is boring.

1 out of 10 stars

Thomas and Friends

Another damn train show. George Carlin does the voiceover, which wins points. But he's not very funny here, and now that he's dead it's just sort of sad. Plus, trains with faces weird me out.

1 out of 10 stars

Noodle and Doodle

Some dude with super curly hair cooks shit with puppets. There's something seriously wrong with adults who act like this around puppets, and it automatically makes me think: pedophile. Or whatever the term is for grown ass men who like to diddle puppets.

0 out of 10 stars

1 Comments:

At February 15, 2011 at 6:14 PM , Esther Martinez said...: I really think these kid show ranking rank among your best posts. There's something compelling and funny about the angle-- a DAD's perspective. An honest dad's perspective. Fresh!

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