Subject: RE: Other [NFC15] NFLX ID: Q86EM6QL6E51N3KGCOX3AQSDYKAWTF71
Date: Wed, 15 Apr 2009 03:32:40 +0000
Dear Customer Service Representative,
I have been reticent to write, since up until now, I have been a huge fan of Netflix (and your most outspoken vocal proponent). Your wide array of movie choices, convenient (and affordable) payment options, and they fact that you are not those soulless bastards at Blockbuster are just a few of the reasons I have championed your services to friends, family, and co-workers alike. But all that is about to change.
For THREE WEEKS I have had at the top of my cue Breaking Bad, Season 1, Disc 1, and what comes today? Fucking "Legally Blonde II." A stupid movie my girlfriend put on our cue, without my knowledge. And Breaking Bad? Still "a very long wait." This is unacceptable. You are Netflix! You have, like, a bazillion dollars. What? You can't afford extra copies?
I'd threaten with a return to Blockbuster, but truth is I'd rather burn out my eyes than every give those soulless creeps a penny of my hard-earned money. But I don't think threats are necessary. I think you are going to do the right thing here and send me my Breaking Bad, Season 1, Disc 1, for this one simple reason. Once upon a time, in the land before Netflix, Blockbuster ruled the movie-renting world, and they did so with an iron fist. And there was no room to negotiate. Didn't like the fact that Bad Lieutenant only came in big brother edited format? Try complaining, and you'd get a kick to the pants out the door and an extra large box of Goobers to the back of the head. And now here we stand at the precipice, and, Netflix, you about to make the same mistake.
I hope this isn't true. Because we don't need a return to those Dark Ages. But your indifference to my movie-watching needs--the needs of a LOYAL, LONG-STANDING CUSTOMER--makes me wonder. Which is awful. Because this is bigger than I. And it is bigger than you. This is bigger than the needs of one man who is going to have to suffer through another night of the "will they or won't they end up together" romantic comedy. This is about choice. It is about right and wrong. This is about America. Blockbuster paid for its hubris. I pray you don't go down that same road.
PS Don't try coddling me with movie vouchers. I have enough movies. And don't waste both our time with apologies and excuses. Losers do that. Save that weak-ass shit for the Communist Bloc. This is America. Where results matter more than wishy-washy intentions. Send me Breaking Bad, Season 1, Disc 1, and keep your good name just that, or incur my wrath.
*Ed Note: Netlix did not respond to this e-mail. Shortly thereafter I cancelled my subscription.