Who the fuck reads this thing? Seriously. Yesterday, a harmless, short post about my kid, Wuthering Heights, and the Yankees' heartbreaking extra innings loss to the cocksucking Red Sox generated close to 400 hits. Now that's not that many in the grand scheme of things, I realize. I mean, there are sites like Jason Mulgrew's that get, like, over 200 million hits, and that little chart on the right hand side of this blog, with the zig-zaggy lines, should be moving, like animation, if there was enough constant traffic. Still, 400 people reading what I wrote in one day? I find that number staggering.
As DJ Lance Rocks says, Let's break it down.
Even if 50 of those hits are my checking (and rechecking and rechecking) the site, and I know the friends & family who check this pretty faithfully (about 12), that still leaves, y'know, a fucking lot. (I was an English major. My friend Rich was the math major.) I mean, I can leave this site for ten minutes, come back and find, like, 20 more hits. Blows my freaking mind. I don't even know 20 people, let alone consider them friends. Sometimes there will be comments from people I don't know, have never even heard of. And usually these comments are...nice.
I remember back in the summer of 19aught5, when this "Internet" thing was really taking off, I was sitting around a music studio, smoking aluminum foil with my buddy, Dan. He had one these "laptop computers" (and, no, I don't know why I am putting these words in quotes, a writerly sin). I'd be like, "What the fuck you wasting your time playing video games?" And he'd be, like, "I'm not playing video games. I'm telling you, computers and the Internet are the future of rock 'n' roll and art, getting your work out there, and..." At that point I'd usually stopped listening, fixated by the shinier things in the room; but when I'd finally come down, snap out of it, I'd tell him this whole computer thing was a fad.
Just since I wrote that paragraph, 7 people have read this blog.
So I'd like to know who's reading this, get to know you all better. How has life disappointed you? What books do you think suck? What shit of yours do people regularly steal? This way I can tailor posts to appease a certain demographic, like MTV and their rebooting of Teen Wolf (which my wife regularly DVRs, I shit you not). I've already been told no sports (and I fucking try), no politics (a little better), and don't make fun of Jane Austen (which is proving much harder, since I hate her so so so much). But the best part of this "Internet" is the immediacy, the interaction between artist and user. So tell me who you are. There's a place to leave comments on the bottom. It won't take long. You might get a free hot dog. And better yet, maybe you too can see your name in a future post!
Now let's close with some good advice from DJ Lance and Co.