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Un-tethered

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Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Un-tethered

As Jimmy pointed out these posts are getting shorter. But as I told Jimmy, that is only because I am moving. Or have a kid. Or am getting married. Again. Or am trying to keep afloat my sinking literary career. Or am dying a slow death inside. Can't be sure. Probably the moving.

Jimmy's neighbor shot himself yesterday and it fucked Jimmy up a bit, mostly because I think Jimmy didn't expect to be fucked up by such news, the "he seemed like such a nice guy" tragedy. And I know how he feels. It isn't how close or not close we are to these people who check out like this; moreover, it's such actions make us realize how little tethers us to this life, how little of what is inside us is actually known by others. And it's scary shit.

I've had a bunch of friends kill themselves, some good, some less so, but it's always the same...shock. Even with the ones you expected, can't feign surprise over.

I suppose some people wring their hands, ask "Dear God why?!" Not guys like Jimmy and me. These actions only remind us just how hard it's been to stick around this long.

And, yeah, I'm about to close with some Billy fucking Joel.

I believe I've passed the age of consciousness & righteous rage
I found that just surviving was a noble fight.

OK. Time to pack some more boxes.

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